1 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:16,776 [country music playing] 2 00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:18,812 [Kipling gulping] 3 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,081 [sighs] 4 00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:24,818 ♪ I was born in Houston ♪ 5 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:28,488 ♪ Life was full and good ♪ 6 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:32,058 ♪ Got a yen to travel ♪ 7 00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:35,328 ♪ No one understood ♪ 8 00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:39,165 ♪ Took my things And said goodbye ♪ 9 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,433 ♪ Left my family ♪ 10 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,002 Don't you look pretty as a picture? 11 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:47,774 [chuckles] 12 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:53,179 ♪ On my own in Seattle ♪ 13 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:56,983 ♪ City by the sea ♪ 14 00:01:57,083 --> 00:02:00,186 ♪ There, a lovely woman ♪ 15 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:05,125 ♪ Gave her love to me... ♪ 16 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:10,997 She-ma yisrael adonai eloheinu, adonai echad. 17 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,101 [static crackling] 18 00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:17,370 [Niles coughing] 19 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:21,808 [Niles] What's going on? Where am I? 20 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,376 [Kipling] Morning, sunshine. 21 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:25,445 [Niles] Willoughby? What have you done? 22 00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:29,215 Would you believe I just fancied a chat with an old friend? 23 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:30,783 [Niles] Hardly. 24 00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:33,553 Well, before you get all holier-than-thou, 25 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,322 if the tables were turned, you'd have done the same thing. 26 00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:38,558 [Niles] Rabbi Loew animated his creature 27 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,827 to protect his people from slaughter. 28 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:45,198 I doubt you have such lofty intentions for me. 29 00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:46,799 That hurts my feelings. 30 00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:50,703 I've got loads of important shit for us to do. 31 00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:53,173 And old friends to see. 32 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,148 [gasps] Dear God, poor Niles! 33 00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:04,083 Whatever has happened to you? 34 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,585 [Niles] Baphomet. 35 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,422 Hello, love. 36 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:13,593 I'm perfectly well. Just lost a little weight, that's all. 37 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,094 [Kipling in Niles' voice] How are you? 38 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,030 -I-- -[Kipling] Well, that's great! 39 00:03:17,096 --> 00:03:20,033 Listen, can I ask you something, head to head? 40 00:03:20,099 --> 00:03:22,435 What do you think of my pal, Willoughby? 41 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:26,272 Is he the kind of chap you see yourself settling down with? 42 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:30,944 Willy, how could you do this dreadful thing to your friend? 43 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,112 [Kipling in Niles' voice] Whatever do you mean? 44 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,248 I think I look top shelf. 45 00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:39,719 I have no interest in these baby games. 46 00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:44,057 Don't summon me again unless you decide to grow up. 47 00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:45,525 Baby, wait! 48 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:47,894 [static crackling] 49 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,128 [Kipling] Fuck! 50 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,897 [Niles chuckling] I'm sorry, Willoughby, 51 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:53,633 but that was pathetic, even for you-- 52 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,235 [line disconnects] 53 00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:58,238 Wrong room, dickhead. 54 00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,376 Oh, fuck me. 55 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:05,778 [whistling] 56 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,587 [Jane] So, are you gonna tell us who you are 57 00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:16,823 or does someone need to jam a foot up your pee-hole? 58 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:22,161 Oh! Aren't you charming? Now, would you mind telling me, 59 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,797 when are you expecting Niles Caulder back? 60 00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:26,633 -Well-- -Look, lady. 61 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:28,334 -You're in our house... -Mmm-hmm. 62 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:30,270 -...wearing our clothes and drinking our tea. -Yeah. 63 00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:32,739 Now, answer our questions. 64 00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:34,941 Then maybe we could talk about Niles. 65 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,245 -How were you made? -Excuse me? 66 00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:42,849 Is that aluminum? You know, how does it... How does it stick to your face? 67 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,784 [Larry] Uh, that is his face. 68 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:47,487 That is his face! Wow, okay. 69 00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:50,690 -Stop doing that! -Okay, in a minute. Whoa! 70 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,860 -It's fascinating. -How long have you been in our house? 71 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,695 Well, long enough to see Bandages over here 72 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,830 play dress-up with your dead bodies. 73 00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:59,766 -[Jane] No! -[Cliff] The fuck? 74 00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:04,037 [Larry] I was at a low point and wasn't making great decisions, okay? 75 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:08,708 Okay, tell me, why are you all scratching like circus animals? 76 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:12,145 Your name, now. Or I'm dragging your ass out of here. 77 00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:15,048 Okay, well... I'm not being coy. Um... 78 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,051 The truth is, I can't remember. 79 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,453 -Why are you looking for Chief? -Can't remember that either. 80 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,055 But when I think of him, 81 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,124 I am filled with an overwhelming and immediate urge 82 00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:26,893 to punch him in the face. 83 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,127 -That's him. -Yup. 84 00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,162 -Word. -Sounds about right. 85 00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:31,064 But here's what I do know. 86 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,834 I seem to have traveled here via a sort of a time-travel capsule. 87 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,836 [Larry] Ugh... 88 00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:40,006 As a result, I have a moderate to more-than-moderate degree of memory loss. 89 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:43,576 And that I need to find a certain Niles Caulder. 90 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:44,911 [Cliff] Bullshit! 91 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,979 There's no such thing as time travel. 92 00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:50,717 'Cause if there was, a certain sixth grade assbag named Jimmy Decker 93 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,353 would've never pulled my pants down in assembly. 94 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:56,923 And I never would've had the nickname "Cheeto Dick" for six years. 95 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,025 That's what you would go back in time and fix? 96 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:04,897 Fuck yeah! But like I said, time travel doesn't exist. 97 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,245 You were saying? 98 00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:23,683 [Larry] What year did you come from? 99 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,585 Um... [chuckles] 100 00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:35,962 If you saw us dead, that means that you were here at least since yesterday. 101 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,430 -Hey, Rita? -Hmm? 102 00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:39,532 When did your super-secret alarm thing go off? 103 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:44,070 Uh, the day before we went to Codsville, I think, ahem. [clears throat] 104 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,305 [Larry] Which you completely ignored. 105 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,575 [scoffs] Well, the important thing is... Oh, shut up. 106 00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:51,544 She's here now, isn't she? 107 00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:54,414 Right, yes. And now it's time for you all to answer my questions, 108 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,716 starting with, "Where is Niles Caulder?" 109 00:06:56,783 --> 00:07:01,087 He's deader than shit. God damn, I love saying that. 110 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,289 -[roars] -[glass shattering] 111 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:08,661 I see. How long? 112 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:09,896 [Larry] About two weeks. 113 00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:11,297 Two weeks. Right. 114 00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:12,999 Well, then I shall just time-travel back to then. 115 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:17,136 [Jane] Then. You can do that? And actually talk to him? 116 00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:20,440 [woman] It's a time machine, dear. So I can, you know, travel back 117 00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:23,276 and have a wee chat with Adam and Eve, if I want to. 118 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:29,816 [Cliff] Mmm, I don't know. Things were a little hairy around here two weeks ago. 119 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:34,120 Kaiju candle-demon on the loose. You might wanna go back a little further. 120 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:37,190 Right. Well, I shall go back three weeks, then. 121 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,125 Ooh, yeah. 122 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:42,662 This place was lousy with sex ghosts around then. I don't recommend it. 123 00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:43,996 -True. -[Cliff] That's right. 124 00:07:44,096 --> 00:07:46,632 -Well, four weeks? -[all] No, no, no. 125 00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:48,301 Okay. Well, how about five? 126 00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:49,602 -[Vic] Hell, no. -[others groan] 127 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,037 Seven? What about seven? Give me seven. 128 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,005 Anyone for seven? You want to give me seven? 129 00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:54,540 -Seven, anybody? -I think you're good. 130 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,109 Good, all righty. Bon voyage! 131 00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:58,878 Send Chief our love. 132 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:02,949 Tell him I said... He'll know what it means. 133 00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:08,554 Okay, well, this is goodbye and has been a truly infuriating experience. 134 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:13,392 And I only hope that in your time of need, you will be met one day 135 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:18,564 with the same ineptitude and uselessness which you have shown me here today. 136 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:21,234 So, I bid you adieu. 137 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,903 -[door creaking shut] -[Vic] Peace. God. 138 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,175 [engine sputtering] 139 00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:31,911 [engine rattling] 140 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,247 [woman] Come on, come on. Let's go. 141 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,581 Come on, come on. 142 00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:36,916 [engine hissing, stopping] 143 00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,420 Who's good with machines? 144 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,058 Lady, I only knew time travel existed ten minutes ago. 145 00:08:46,158 --> 00:08:46,993 Mmm-hmm. 146 00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,929 Oh! Thank you. 147 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,264 I can't fix your machine. 148 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,734 No. Well, not with that attitude, you can't. 149 00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:55,768 What about Cliff? 150 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,069 [squeaking] 151 00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:59,338 He knows everything about fixing cars. 152 00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:03,576 Oh, I know more than everything. Thing is, I don't give a shit about any of this. 153 00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:06,612 So you kids have a party. I'm out of here. 154 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:10,082 Wait. We're just gonna let some crazy lady stay in our house 155 00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:12,585 and put her crazy lady fingers on all our stuff? 156 00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:16,556 Because there's nothing weird about some nutball traveling through time 157 00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:17,957 to see Chief? 158 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,792 -[Cliff] Yup. -[Larry] Pretty much, yeah. 159 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:22,261 We've got our own crap to take care of, remember? 160 00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:26,032 We agreed to get help with our shit? 161 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:32,038 -You were serious about that? -Yup. You should be too. 162 00:09:32,104 --> 00:09:35,241 Well, you should mind your own fucking business. 163 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:40,646 Okay, right. Um, you. Take me to this secret alarm. 164 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,315 I would like to have a look at it. 165 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,817 -I would be happy-- -No. 166 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,419 [Larry grunting] Oh, God. 167 00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:47,453 [grunting] 168 00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:48,454 Oh, God! 169 00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:49,722 [gasping] 170 00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:50,890 Shall we? 171 00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:54,927 Okay. Well, I'll be back to check on your work later. 172 00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:55,962 Oh, I'm not... 173 00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:04,236 [coughing, vomiting] 174 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,015 Oh, God. 175 00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:21,187 Oh, God. 176 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,356 Well, first, my leg started fucking up. 177 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,958 Then my hands started shaking like fucking Jell-O. 178 00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:28,527 I thought that it was just shitty craftsmanship 179 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,529 by the shitty scientist that built my body. 180 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,032 But then my buddy Cyborg scanned my shit and said 181 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,867 it might be my brain that's fucked. 182 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:37,603 Cyborg's not really my buddy. I don't know why I just said that. 183 00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:39,672 He's more like this lesser version of me who lives in my house. 184 00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:42,608 Anyhoo, my daughter-in-law thinks I might have Parkinson's. 185 00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:45,378 But she's not a doctor. She's a graphic designer. 186 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,114 But you're a doctor. So what do you think? 187 00:10:52,184 --> 00:10:54,487 Goddamn TikTokers. I don't have time for this. 188 00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:56,689 Hmph, okay. 189 00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:15,975 Fuck it. 190 00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:20,379 [fly buzzing] 191 00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:35,394 [loud clattering] 192 00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:36,395 Shit! 193 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:39,899 [flesh tearing] 194 00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:42,535 What the hell? 195 00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:45,771 [Silas] Which of Niles' nonsense are you mixed up in now? 196 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,274 [Vic] It's a time machine. 197 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,710 And for some reason, I've been tasked with fixing it. 198 00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:53,179 Also, it's not Niles. 199 00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:55,014 I hope you didn't ask me here to help. 200 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:58,517 Time travel's fringe, experimental, dangerous. 201 00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:02,221 Few human trials that I know of have led to neurological damage and memory loss. 202 00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:06,459 Fringe and experimental? As opposed to the body tech which was thoroughly vetted 203 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,294 before you put it in my body? 204 00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:09,862 I did it to save your life. 205 00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:12,031 And if I'm not mistaken, it seems to have worked out okay. 206 00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:14,934 Alive and okay aren't the same thing. You know that, right? 207 00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:17,970 Maybe you'd have more body positivity if you'd made better choices 208 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,538 for how you used your tech-- 209 00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:21,474 I didn't choose to put this in my body. You did. 210 00:12:22,641 --> 00:12:24,376 What's going on here, Vic? 211 00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:25,978 Where's this coming from? 212 00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:28,080 I've just been wondering, is all, 213 00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:32,451 if there was another choice, if body tech was the only way to save my life. 214 00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:39,892 Okay, let's talk about choice. 215 00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:42,828 Like your choice to abet Roni Evers in evading authorities, 216 00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:44,997 a choice that cost me my job. 217 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:45,998 What? 218 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,668 Technically, I'm on administrative leave. 219 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,504 -But it's not looking good. -But that's not fair! 220 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,172 You had nothing to do with. 221 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:55,841 You used S.T.A.R. Labs tech I designed to help a murderer! 222 00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,144 But she's not a bad person, Dad! 223 00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:01,781 If you know what she went through, you'd understand where she's coming from. 224 00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:04,483 She deserved a second chance, and I gave her one. 225 00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:09,922 So that's it? 226 00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,925 You take zero responsibility for your actions? 227 00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:15,494 I can't believe I'd ever feel this disappointed in you, son. 228 00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:17,830 But here we are. 229 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,765 [sighs] 230 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,769 Do you want to know why I asked you over? 231 00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:28,040 Two days ago, I died. 232 00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:29,875 What? 233 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,677 I went to the afterlife and I talked to Mom. 234 00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:33,345 [softly] Oh... 235 00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:35,214 Finally happened. 236 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,349 You've been hanging around these nuts so long, you done lost your mind. 237 00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:39,852 No. She told me that there was another way you could have saved me. 238 00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:43,022 Yeah. And I want to know what it was. 239 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,392 Was there another way or not? 240 00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:50,496 Well... 241 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,867 We had, uh, developed a prototype 242 00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:57,236 for synthetic skin. 243 00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:58,737 [whispering] Oh, God. 244 00:14:00,372 --> 00:14:03,142 So, I could've looked normal. 245 00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:05,511 -It was still very-- -Experimental. 246 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,414 Like the cyber tech? 247 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:09,481 Just like this? 248 00:14:10,816 --> 00:14:12,585 Why would you do this to me? 249 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:17,489 You couldn't do human trials, so you used your own son as a guinea pig? 250 00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:18,691 Is that what this is? 251 00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:21,660 I cannot keep explaining myself. 252 00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:22,862 You can't or you won't? 253 00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:26,999 Everything I did was to protect you. 254 00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,935 I don't care what you hear or who you talk to. 255 00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:32,938 It won't change that. 256 00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,115 [tool clatters loudly] 257 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:49,688 I must apologize for my housemates' less-than-warm welcome. 258 00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:53,959 It's just, most of them are trying to move on from Niles Caulder, 259 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:58,564 so a mysterious stranger dredging him back up was probably a bit triggering. 260 00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,299 Oh, yeah? Why is that? 261 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,967 Was he a bad man? 262 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,469 Yes. 263 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,603 And no. 264 00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:07,907 He was a complicated person. 265 00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:09,608 Yes. Well, aren't we all? 266 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:14,980 Oh, shitting hell! 267 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,616 Perhaps it was completely pointless coming here. 268 00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:20,619 Well, how can you possibly know what to look for 269 00:15:20,719 --> 00:15:22,154 when you don't know what you're looking for? 270 00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:25,758 Well, the mind may forget, but the gut may not. 271 00:15:25,824 --> 00:15:27,893 It is the elephant of the body, 272 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:32,164 and it will tell me when I am onto something. 273 00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:35,834 It just occurred to me that I... I don't know what to call you. 274 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,236 Well, that makes two of us. 275 00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:40,806 What about Shannon? 276 00:15:40,906 --> 00:15:43,108 I have always liked that name. 277 00:15:43,175 --> 00:15:45,577 Very well, Shannon it is. 278 00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:48,747 Why don't you tell me, um, what your name is? 279 00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:51,183 It's Rita. Rita Farr. 280 00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,152 Ah, well, Rita. 281 00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:56,622 I don't know why you have attached yourself to me like a black-legged tick, 282 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:59,358 but it is distracting and quite bothersome. 283 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:03,762 And I don't mean to be unkind, but it's really annoying! 284 00:16:03,829 --> 00:16:06,932 Oh, I didn't mean to be any of those things. 285 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:08,500 Do you have a question for me, 286 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:13,038 or is your neediness some kind of holistic condition? 287 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,040 Actually, I do. 288 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,875 Do I look at all familiar to you? 289 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:21,380 My body elephant has the strongest feeling that we know each other. 290 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,483 No one looks familiar to me, not even me. 291 00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:27,319 Or do you... Do you not know how amnesia works? 292 00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:33,025 Maybe try taking a nice long look at me for a minute. 293 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:36,495 Maybe it'll help jog something loose. Hmm? 294 00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:48,540 Oh, you got schmutz on your face there. 295 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:49,675 [groans] 296 00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:53,879 Ah! 297 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,221 Hot dog! 298 00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:09,762 [creaking] 299 00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:14,400 Okay. 300 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,371 [both gasp] 301 00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:26,745 [exhales] That's the stuff. 302 00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:32,017 Wow. 303 00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:35,454 Ugh! 304 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,293 [Cliff] Whatcha doing? 305 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,796 Playing Frisbee golf. What does it look like, dipshit? 306 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,964 Uh... 307 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,567 Like you're making creepy Bob Ross fan art. 308 00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:51,470 You made me feel like shit for not honoring our stupid pact or whatever, 309 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:56,041 so I tried making something out of my pain, like Abuelita told me to. 310 00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:57,376 But it didn't work. 311 00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:59,378 And now I feel like an even bigger dick, 312 00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:03,949 so I'm going to get high as fuck and then light it on fire. 313 00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:06,418 -Wanna watch? -Definitely. 314 00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:10,656 Only... maybe before you flick your Bic, 315 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:15,060 you might wanna, I don't know, try talking to creepy Bob Ross. 316 00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:17,329 -About what? -Whatever you want. 317 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:21,166 Maybe saying some shit you didn't get to before he died will give you some closure. 318 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:23,802 Who crawled up your ass and made you Dr. Phil? 319 00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:27,172 When we were in the afterlife, I got to tell off my asshole dad, 320 00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:28,841 and it felt awesome! 321 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:32,678 I'm talking top ten best moments of my life, or afterlife. 322 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,813 At least it was great till he shoved his 323 00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:36,982 "Grandpa of the Year" mug up my butt. 324 00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,118 Not literally. 325 00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:42,521 And I got to tell Niles to suck a bucket of vaginas, 326 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:45,023 which also squeaks into my top ten. 327 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,325 Wait, when did that happen? 328 00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:47,693 Oh, uh... 329 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,928 Probably about, ooh, sometime after he died. 330 00:18:49,995 --> 00:18:53,866 He was a ghost, and he wanted me to burn his body so his soul could be at peace. 331 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,468 But I didn't do it because fuck him. 332 00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:57,836 So I could've talked to him? 333 00:18:57,936 --> 00:19:00,305 That's what I'm saying! You still can. 334 00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:14,653 [Larry] I'm sorry it has to end this way, old friends. 335 00:19:16,121 --> 00:19:18,857 I'd like to think you'll do well out here. 336 00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:21,527 But my guess is, you'll be dead a week after I am. 337 00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:23,061 [Rita groans] 338 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,797 I'm in crisis, Larry, and I need a sympathetic ear. 339 00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:28,233 Uh, not really a good time, okay? 340 00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,335 There was another me at Codsville. 341 00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:32,371 [Larry sighs] 342 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,374 How do you mean? 343 00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:38,977 I mean, there was another me. As in, instead of just one of me, 344 00:19:39,044 --> 00:19:40,746 there were two. 345 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:43,749 It happened right after that ghastly red creature started shooting. 346 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,251 I almost escaped, when "she" 347 00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:49,421 shoved me back into the lounge. 348 00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:52,157 What's more is, she was wearing the exact same flight suit 349 00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:53,992 I found in Shannon's time machine. 350 00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:57,429 -Who's Shannon? -Our mysterious time traveler. 351 00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:58,597 It's what we're calling her now. 352 00:19:58,697 --> 00:19:59,932 She remembered her name? 353 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,900 No. It's just what we're calling her. 354 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,602 Please, Larry, try to stay focused. 355 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,270 -[sighs] -And if that weren't enough, 356 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:07,539 there's that strange creature in the afterlife 357 00:20:07,606 --> 00:20:10,842 who not only seemed to know me, but to like me. 358 00:20:10,909 --> 00:20:15,280 But I couldn't get any answers or even a little common courtesy out of Shannon, 359 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:19,251 so I am left to put the pieces together on my own. 360 00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:22,287 But what does it all mean? 361 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:25,023 I mean, the two seem unrelated to me. 362 00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:28,694 Ha! Larry... 363 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:32,297 What if I'm a world-renowned time traveler? 364 00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:35,567 Uh, look, 365 00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:37,469 after all the weird crap we've been through, 366 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,571 I can buy the time traveler piece. 367 00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:41,573 But where do you get "world-renowned"? 368 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:46,044 Since I am one of two known time travelers, 369 00:20:46,111 --> 00:20:48,547 one could extrapolate my elevated status. 370 00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:50,082 Or maybe you're trying to find 371 00:20:50,148 --> 00:20:53,118 some specialness inside you that isn't really there. 372 00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,657 Now, how could you say that to me? 373 00:21:00,225 --> 00:21:01,493 [Larry sighs] 374 00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:06,765 I'm dying, Rita. 375 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,236 -Again? -Yeah. 376 00:21:11,303 --> 00:21:12,771 What's happening? 377 00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:15,574 I've been puking up blue crap all morning. 378 00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:16,842 Since I don't eat or drink, 379 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,477 I don't think that's a good sign. 380 00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:21,113 Oh, Larry. 381 00:21:21,179 --> 00:21:24,082 Yeah, apparently, life without the spirit has its limits. 382 00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:26,985 I think that's why he brought me into space, 383 00:21:27,085 --> 00:21:28,920 so I could see it one last time. 384 00:21:30,522 --> 00:21:31,356 Anyway. 385 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:37,496 I love you too much to not be honest during my last days. 386 00:21:41,199 --> 00:21:43,769 Now, you see here, Larry Trainor, I... 387 00:21:45,003 --> 00:21:46,538 What's on your bandages? 388 00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:54,012 -[inhaling deeply] -[Larry] Ugh! 389 00:21:54,112 --> 00:21:56,848 What fresh hell is this? Oh! 390 00:21:56,948 --> 00:22:01,386 You know, you... smell delicious. 391 00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:04,556 Do you have ham in your pocket or something? 392 00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:06,992 Um, not that I'm aware of, no. 393 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:13,332 -[gasps] -Uh... Did, um... Did you just lick me? 394 00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:18,737 Oh, I... I have no idea. 395 00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:23,008 [whirring] 396 00:22:25,377 --> 00:22:27,512 [Shannon reading] 397 00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:32,751 Doesn't ring a bell. 398 00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:35,153 "Woman petting cat." 399 00:22:36,154 --> 00:22:36,988 Well? 400 00:22:42,527 --> 00:22:45,097 [reading] 401 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:50,369 Not a flicker. 402 00:22:55,173 --> 00:22:56,274 [sighs] 403 00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,410 [cranking] 404 00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:02,748 [clicking] 405 00:23:16,361 --> 00:23:17,195 [gagging] 406 00:23:23,301 --> 00:23:24,202 [scratching] 407 00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:37,215 [screaming] 408 00:23:38,650 --> 00:23:40,118 Larry! 409 00:23:40,752 --> 00:23:41,753 Rita... [groans] 410 00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:44,322 [grunting] 411 00:24:29,134 --> 00:24:30,168 [gasping] 412 00:24:33,672 --> 00:24:35,173 My body elephant! 413 00:24:36,975 --> 00:24:40,378 [Cliff] I'm telling you, this is that crazy spider lady's puke or something. 414 00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:42,047 It's like a curse! 415 00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:43,181 [sneezing] 416 00:24:43,281 --> 00:24:45,717 Bless you. Oh, my fuck! 417 00:24:49,354 --> 00:24:50,388 [groans] 418 00:24:52,657 --> 00:24:53,892 I don't feel so good. 419 00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:55,627 You don't look great either. 420 00:24:56,728 --> 00:24:58,630 Jane? Jane? 421 00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:02,534 [Cliff roars] 422 00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:11,743 Oh! 423 00:25:13,845 --> 00:25:14,813 [grunting] 424 00:25:17,549 --> 00:25:18,917 [bones cracking] 425 00:25:20,819 --> 00:25:22,187 [grunts, neck cracks] 426 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,095 [breathing heavily] 427 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,434 [gasps] 428 00:25:52,684 --> 00:25:53,885 Oh. 429 00:25:56,788 --> 00:25:58,790 [laughing] 430 00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:03,028 Oh. [exhales] Everybody... 431 00:26:03,094 --> 00:26:06,364 Everybody, come, I know who I am! 432 00:26:06,431 --> 00:26:08,133 I'm a bird! 433 00:26:08,233 --> 00:26:10,869 And I can fly... I think. 434 00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:15,607 [all] Brains! 435 00:26:16,274 --> 00:26:17,876 Brains! 436 00:26:19,811 --> 00:26:21,379 [doorbell ringing] 437 00:26:21,446 --> 00:26:23,982 [door opens, closes] 438 00:26:24,082 --> 00:26:25,250 [footsteps approaching] 439 00:26:26,818 --> 00:26:28,219 [all] Brains? 440 00:26:32,123 --> 00:26:34,259 What happened to you morons this time? 441 00:26:34,326 --> 00:26:37,729 [all] Brains. 442 00:26:39,998 --> 00:26:41,666 Are you the one who zombified these tits? 443 00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:44,903 I don't think so. [mumbles] I couldn't swear to it, though. 444 00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:46,237 -Who's she? -[speaking zombie] 445 00:26:55,947 --> 00:26:59,417 Uh-huh. Okay. Um, could somebody tell me what's going on here? 446 00:26:59,484 --> 00:27:02,120 -'Cause I'm... -What happened to you lot? 447 00:27:02,187 --> 00:27:03,121 [Cliff speaking zombie] 448 00:27:14,833 --> 00:27:18,036 Sure thing. I need an axe, gallon of petrol and a match. 449 00:27:18,136 --> 00:27:19,037 [Larry speaking zombie] 450 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,041 Got it in one, Bubba Ho-tep. 451 00:27:23,875 --> 00:27:24,876 [neck cracks] 452 00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:31,549 [chuckles] 453 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:34,519 Find me a VCR in this pit, and all will be explained. 454 00:27:36,454 --> 00:27:39,858 [all] Brains. 455 00:27:46,297 --> 00:27:47,666 [man grumbles indistinctly on TV] 456 00:27:49,634 --> 00:27:52,070 Is that Niles Caulder? 457 00:27:52,170 --> 00:27:55,006 More or less. Shorter than you imagined, I bet. 458 00:27:55,073 --> 00:27:56,174 [laughs] 459 00:27:57,575 --> 00:27:58,643 You're funny. 460 00:28:00,378 --> 00:28:04,416 Listen up, freaks. I got your dead leader's head. [laughs] 461 00:28:05,850 --> 00:28:08,086 If you want it back, you'll come and see me. 462 00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:14,325 But don't keep me waiting or I will make him pay for it! [laughs] 463 00:28:20,398 --> 00:28:24,369 [Niles] Don't do it. Don't come here. Save yourselves! 464 00:28:24,436 --> 00:28:27,172 -[Darren] Shut up! -[groans] 465 00:28:29,007 --> 00:28:30,108 I'll see you real soon. 466 00:28:38,750 --> 00:28:40,752 I had Niles' head first. 467 00:28:40,852 --> 00:28:42,887 Darren stole it off me. Took my coat too. 468 00:28:45,523 --> 00:28:47,459 Calm your festering arses down. 469 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:49,928 Do you know how much arcane mystical knowledge 470 00:28:50,028 --> 00:28:51,763 is swimming around in that man's noodle? 471 00:28:51,863 --> 00:28:54,132 Better I have it than some other crazy bastard. 472 00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:55,867 Oh, right. 473 00:28:55,934 --> 00:28:59,571 -So you pilfered it in order to protect it? -That's right. 474 00:28:59,637 --> 00:29:04,242 Not because its inherent magical value would fetch a fine price? 475 00:29:04,309 --> 00:29:05,710 I'm sorry, who the fuck are you again? 476 00:29:05,777 --> 00:29:08,980 I'm a bird. And my name is Laura De Mille. 477 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:12,217 And that head may be the key to unlocking my memory, 478 00:29:12,283 --> 00:29:14,085 so we have to rescue it. 479 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:27,398 [Kipling] I did have a plan. 480 00:29:27,465 --> 00:29:28,767 A bloody good one. 481 00:29:28,833 --> 00:29:31,669 But as per usual, your dumbfuckery 482 00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:35,473 jammed a spanner up my arse and now you're zombies. 483 00:29:35,573 --> 00:29:38,076 Is it too much to ask for you twats 484 00:29:38,143 --> 00:29:40,678 not to fuck yourselves up so spectacularly? 485 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:43,281 Well, I may have an idea there. 486 00:29:43,348 --> 00:29:45,350 We just need to keep this undead brood 487 00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:49,521 from feasting on our brains till we put it into action. 488 00:29:52,957 --> 00:29:54,325 Got it covered, love. 489 00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:03,968 This was in James Dean's car the night he bit it. 490 00:30:04,035 --> 00:30:06,037 It covers the smell of brains. 491 00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:08,306 And the, um... And the hats? 492 00:30:08,373 --> 00:30:11,109 Keep our heads warm. It's cold without my coat. 493 00:30:12,510 --> 00:30:13,511 Yeah. 494 00:30:19,450 --> 00:30:21,052 [all growling] 495 00:30:31,563 --> 00:30:32,630 Come on. 496 00:30:36,968 --> 00:30:38,403 [snarling] 497 00:30:43,041 --> 00:30:45,076 Look, you muppets. Delicious brains. 498 00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:47,178 -Yummy, yummy. -Brains! 499 00:30:47,245 --> 00:30:49,180 [all] Brains! 500 00:31:19,777 --> 00:31:22,280 Look, I don't know you. 501 00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:24,515 And I'm not sure this plan's going to work. 502 00:31:25,350 --> 00:31:27,385 But fuck it. Here. 503 00:31:33,191 --> 00:31:35,393 Be very careful with that. 504 00:31:35,460 --> 00:31:37,228 -It's petrified dragon's piss. -Mmm-hmm. 505 00:31:37,295 --> 00:31:40,098 Most people worry about the fire, but it's the piss that'll get you. 506 00:31:40,198 --> 00:31:42,767 Should pop his head like a balloon. 507 00:31:42,867 --> 00:31:43,968 See you on the other side. 508 00:31:51,075 --> 00:31:52,443 This way, Solomons Grundy. 509 00:31:54,245 --> 00:31:55,980 [zombies growling] 510 00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:08,326 [Cliff speaking zombie] 511 00:32:18,903 --> 00:32:19,804 [Larry speaking zombie] 512 00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:25,076 There you are, my beauty. 513 00:32:40,158 --> 00:32:42,527 He kept a serial killer diary. 514 00:32:43,928 --> 00:32:45,263 [zombies grunt] 515 00:32:45,330 --> 00:32:49,000 [laughs] I thought I smelled abominations. 516 00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:50,268 Brains? 517 00:32:51,002 --> 00:32:51,836 [sniffs] 518 00:32:54,539 --> 00:32:57,208 I'm so glad you sons of bitches are here. 519 00:32:57,308 --> 00:32:59,110 I got one hell of a tale to tell you. 520 00:32:59,177 --> 00:33:01,646 It's about a man who was on top of the world... 521 00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:03,047 [all groan] 522 00:33:04,048 --> 00:33:06,651 He had it all. A career, 523 00:33:06,718 --> 00:33:09,220 a beautiful wife and children, 524 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:13,024 a home that would make Martha Stewart shit through her mouth with jealousy. 525 00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:19,630 Shut up, freaks! 526 00:33:19,697 --> 00:33:23,735 You destroyed my life, and God damn it, you will listen to me! 527 00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:25,236 Okay, this is... This is good. 528 00:33:25,336 --> 00:33:28,539 You've a mission and a plan, and... 529 00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:30,675 And you're a bird. 530 00:33:30,742 --> 00:33:32,744 So you've learned so much about yourself already, 531 00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:34,746 you are almost there. 532 00:33:34,846 --> 00:33:39,884 You are going to, uh, fly down there 533 00:33:39,984 --> 00:33:44,922 like you have surely done a thousand times before 534 00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:50,028 and, uh, place this magical, disgusting doodad thing 535 00:33:50,094 --> 00:33:52,764 on that psychopath's head. 536 00:33:54,165 --> 00:33:57,001 Okay. [breathes deeply] 537 00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:02,607 Transform! 538 00:34:06,444 --> 00:34:09,447 You probably haven't thought twice about your little visit to the Ant Farm, 539 00:34:09,547 --> 00:34:13,451 but it has haunted me every second of every day since. 540 00:34:13,551 --> 00:34:19,590 Do you have any idea what it's like to be attacked by hundreds of butts, 541 00:34:19,690 --> 00:34:22,427 who tear into every inch of your flesh, 542 00:34:22,527 --> 00:34:25,229 and then later, at dinner, 543 00:34:26,264 --> 00:34:27,298 at church, 544 00:34:29,367 --> 00:34:31,135 at my daughter's softball game, 545 00:34:32,703 --> 00:34:34,072 something happens. 546 00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:39,777 And then your wife tells you she can't stand you, 547 00:34:39,877 --> 00:34:41,546 that you're not even a man anymore. 548 00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:47,919 -I'm sorry, what? -She wants to see the head. 549 00:34:48,753 --> 00:34:49,754 [Darren] Oh. 550 00:34:51,155 --> 00:34:52,290 [laughs] 551 00:34:55,326 --> 00:34:58,763 [all gasp] 552 00:34:58,830 --> 00:35:01,833 [Niles] My God, what's happened to you? 553 00:35:01,933 --> 00:35:03,634 They're zombies, you berk. 554 00:35:04,335 --> 00:35:06,504 Transform! 555 00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:09,340 Trans... Damn you! Damn it. Trans... 556 00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:17,248 Fuck me, it's a dud. 557 00:35:19,617 --> 00:35:22,687 I am gonna kill you all so fucking hard! 558 00:35:22,787 --> 00:35:24,922 Fuck off hard. You were gonna try that anyway. 559 00:35:33,264 --> 00:35:35,166 You know, usually when I tell that story 560 00:35:35,266 --> 00:35:37,869 right when I come to the "something happens" part, 561 00:35:37,969 --> 00:35:40,638 somebody usually asks me what made my wife leave. 562 00:35:44,542 --> 00:35:46,010 [grunting] 563 00:35:47,478 --> 00:35:49,614 [yells] Come on! 564 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,450 Eh, fuck it. What happened? 565 00:35:53,317 --> 00:35:54,685 I'm so glad you asked. 566 00:35:57,288 --> 00:35:59,390 [groans, bones crack] 567 00:35:59,490 --> 00:36:01,058 [screaming] 568 00:36:22,413 --> 00:36:25,917 Good shitting Christ, we're all the way through the looking glass now. 569 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,385 [Darren grunts] 570 00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:31,422 [howling] 571 00:36:36,861 --> 00:36:37,929 [rumbling] 572 00:36:38,696 --> 00:36:39,730 Shit! 573 00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:47,905 [punk music playing] 574 00:36:48,005 --> 00:36:49,440 ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ 575 00:36:50,441 --> 00:36:51,509 ♪ Yeah! ♪ 576 00:36:53,277 --> 00:36:58,115 ♪ Yeah, there's some stuff That I really wanna do ♪ 577 00:36:58,216 --> 00:37:02,353 ♪ Yeah, badass people I wanna show you ♪ 578 00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:08,092 ♪ Oh, wait for it Here it comes ♪ 579 00:37:16,901 --> 00:37:19,971 Ignore the butts. Ignore the, um... The zombies. 580 00:37:20,938 --> 00:37:22,540 Hey, yeah. 581 00:37:22,607 --> 00:37:25,243 You're here for the head. The head. And you will get the head. 582 00:37:25,309 --> 00:37:27,545 There is no failure, only death. 583 00:37:27,612 --> 00:37:32,316 And you will not die today, sister! 584 00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:34,785 Fuck you, asshole! 585 00:37:37,655 --> 00:37:38,656 Fuck! 586 00:37:46,597 --> 00:37:48,499 [chain saw buzzing] 587 00:37:48,599 --> 00:37:50,568 [punk music continues playing] 588 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:27,338 Don't worry, Tweety. 589 00:38:27,438 --> 00:38:29,340 You'll get your seven minutes in heaven. 590 00:38:35,846 --> 00:38:38,049 [zombies sniffing] 591 00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:39,784 [all] Brains! 592 00:38:39,850 --> 00:38:40,951 -Oops. -Leg it. 593 00:38:43,721 --> 00:38:45,356 [all groaning] 594 00:38:48,292 --> 00:38:52,063 [babbles nervously] ...them? 595 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:53,464 -Fuck 'em. -What? 596 00:38:53,531 --> 00:38:56,133 [Niles] Wait, I can save them. 597 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,135 You bleeding heart bastard. 598 00:38:58,202 --> 00:39:00,471 Now's as good a time as any to cut the cord. 599 00:39:00,538 --> 00:39:02,640 [Niles] Like you did with my daughter? 600 00:39:02,707 --> 00:39:03,641 Oh. 601 00:39:05,176 --> 00:39:07,478 Damn, you sentimental fool. 602 00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:13,684 All right, Walt Disney, what's the plan? 603 00:39:13,751 --> 00:39:17,855 [Niles] Years ago, I discovered that zombies crave human brains 604 00:39:17,922 --> 00:39:21,192 because the brain produces a rare chemical 605 00:39:21,258 --> 00:39:24,328 that can actually cure the affliction. 606 00:39:24,395 --> 00:39:27,331 Unfortunately, the truth was bastardized by filmmakers 607 00:39:27,398 --> 00:39:30,434 who believed it made for better cinema. 608 00:39:30,534 --> 00:39:33,270 Thanks for the history lesson, but my head guy in Paris 609 00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:36,874 isn't taking my calls at the moment, so I have no idea on-- 610 00:39:38,342 --> 00:39:39,343 [sighs] 611 00:39:40,277 --> 00:39:42,279 Huh. 612 00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:46,250 You want me to feed you to that pack of morons? 613 00:39:47,885 --> 00:39:50,121 They're my family. 614 00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:52,189 It's all I have left to give them. 615 00:39:54,759 --> 00:39:57,862 Fine. Thing of it is... 616 00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:03,367 I don't think I can. 617 00:40:03,434 --> 00:40:08,606 Um, well, that's okay, I'll... I'll take care of him. 618 00:40:20,584 --> 00:40:22,720 We've had some times, haven't we? 619 00:40:22,787 --> 00:40:24,655 The best of them. 620 00:40:24,755 --> 00:40:26,957 So long, you bearded twat. 621 00:40:27,057 --> 00:40:28,325 Hope they choke on you. 622 00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:30,494 Goodbye, Willoughby. 623 00:40:35,933 --> 00:40:37,768 Baphomet really does love you. 624 00:40:39,804 --> 00:40:41,672 Stop trying to smother her. 625 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:43,908 [chuckles] 626 00:40:53,484 --> 00:40:55,319 Mr. Caulder, 627 00:40:55,419 --> 00:41:02,126 I am so sorry to ask anything of you at a time like this, 628 00:41:02,193 --> 00:41:04,528 but I am in some need. 629 00:41:04,628 --> 00:41:07,331 I know my name is Laura De Mille, 630 00:41:07,431 --> 00:41:10,935 and that I am associated with the Sisterhood of Dada 631 00:41:11,001 --> 00:41:15,606 and that I am a bird and an ottoman. 632 00:41:15,673 --> 00:41:19,944 The only other thing that I am aware of is that I need to find you, 633 00:41:20,010 --> 00:41:22,346 but I have no idea why. 634 00:41:22,446 --> 00:41:25,616 -Do you know me? -I know you. 635 00:41:25,683 --> 00:41:28,452 All too well, I'm afraid. 636 00:41:28,519 --> 00:41:30,054 Oh, I see. 637 00:41:30,154 --> 00:41:32,957 Well, I gather we weren't on friendly terms, then? 638 00:41:33,724 --> 00:41:35,392 Can you tell me why? 639 00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:37,294 -No. -No? 640 00:41:37,361 --> 00:41:39,029 You heard me. 641 00:41:39,129 --> 00:41:41,031 Yes, I... I heard you. 642 00:41:42,299 --> 00:41:44,869 -But why? -I'll make you a deal. 643 00:41:44,969 --> 00:41:48,506 I have documents with information about you. 644 00:41:48,572 --> 00:41:51,475 Give me your word that after you feed my head to my people, 645 00:41:51,542 --> 00:41:53,978 you'll stay the hell away from them, 646 00:41:54,044 --> 00:41:57,314 and I'll tell you where the documents are. 647 00:41:57,381 --> 00:42:00,818 Though I must be out of my mind to trust you. 648 00:42:02,853 --> 00:42:04,922 Mmm-hmm. 649 00:42:05,022 --> 00:42:09,059 You know, I do not understand why you have so much venom for me. 650 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:11,529 I'm not a bad person. 651 00:42:13,097 --> 00:42:14,098 Am I? 652 00:42:16,033 --> 00:42:18,502 I don't feel like I'm a bad person. 653 00:42:18,569 --> 00:42:23,541 Surely that's not the kind of thing that can be erased with one's memory. 654 00:42:23,607 --> 00:42:28,612 Deeds have a way of leaving indelible marks on the soul. 655 00:42:28,712 --> 00:42:30,581 Do you agree or not? 656 00:42:31,215 --> 00:42:32,416 [shudders] 657 00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:36,620 Uh... 658 00:42:38,122 --> 00:42:39,256 [zombies groan] 659 00:42:45,229 --> 00:42:46,597 [sniffing] 660 00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,102 [all] Brains! 661 00:42:56,874 --> 00:42:57,975 [zombies snarling] 662 00:43:09,787 --> 00:43:10,921 Oh, Jane. 663 00:43:11,889 --> 00:43:14,391 My dear, dear Jane. 664 00:43:25,235 --> 00:43:26,136 [grunts] 665 00:43:33,911 --> 00:43:35,079 [sniffs] 666 00:43:42,119 --> 00:43:45,522 It's okay. I love you, Jane. 667 00:43:45,623 --> 00:43:47,491 I want you to eat me. 668 00:43:49,326 --> 00:43:50,527 Eat me. 669 00:43:51,795 --> 00:43:52,830 Eat me. 670 00:43:55,165 --> 00:43:56,266 Eat me. 671 00:43:57,801 --> 00:43:58,836 Eat-- 672 00:44:24,962 --> 00:44:26,163 [laughs] 673 00:44:30,300 --> 00:44:31,802 [TV playing indistinctly] 674 00:44:37,841 --> 00:44:42,813 [Cliff] So, are we, like, cannibals now? 675 00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:44,581 -[Jane shushes] Shut the fuck up. -[Vic] Don't. 676 00:44:46,850 --> 00:44:50,854 Technically, since 99.99999% of my body is metal, 677 00:44:50,921 --> 00:44:54,158 I'd have to eat a Buick Skylark to be a cannibal. 678 00:44:54,224 --> 00:44:55,726 -[Vic] Come on, man. -[Rita] Stop saying that word. 679 00:44:55,826 --> 00:44:57,027 [Larry] Please stop talking. 680 00:45:00,931 --> 00:45:03,000 [Cliff] Will someone at least tell me what it tasted like? 681 00:45:03,067 --> 00:45:06,770 -[Larry] Enough already. -I will stomp your brain like a jelly-filled balloon. 682 00:45:09,039 --> 00:45:10,207 I will say this. 683 00:45:10,274 --> 00:45:12,910 The one upside to being a zombie was 684 00:45:13,010 --> 00:45:16,113 the only thing I worried about was finding brains. 685 00:45:18,182 --> 00:45:21,552 It was sort of, I don't know, peaceful. 686 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:24,455 Anyone feel like that? 687 00:45:27,224 --> 00:45:29,126 Okay, just throwing it out there. 688 00:45:33,597 --> 00:45:34,698 [Laura sighs] 689 00:45:34,765 --> 00:45:37,735 "Laura De Mille is a disloyal 690 00:45:37,801 --> 00:45:41,572 and self-serving cancer to be excised. 691 00:45:43,407 --> 00:45:46,143 It is my strong recommendation 692 00:45:48,979 --> 00:45:51,315 that she be terminated immediately." 693 00:46:35,659 --> 00:46:36,827 [chuckles] 694 00:46:41,965 --> 00:46:44,001 "Eat me." [laughs] 695 00:46:48,472 --> 00:46:49,673 "Eat me!" 696 00:47:05,689 --> 00:47:06,857 What's this? 697 00:47:06,957 --> 00:47:08,625 Online pharmacy? 698 00:47:10,527 --> 00:47:12,396 No prescription necessary. 699 00:47:13,163 --> 00:47:14,331 Fuck yeah! 700 00:47:14,898 --> 00:47:16,033 [chimes] 701 00:47:27,845 --> 00:47:29,012 What the hell? 702 00:47:42,359 --> 00:47:43,760 My God! 703 00:47:45,696 --> 00:47:47,197 [gags] 704 00:47:53,237 --> 00:47:54,238 God! 705 00:47:56,006 --> 00:47:57,007 [sighs] 706 00:47:58,942 --> 00:48:00,077 Oh, shit. 707 00:48:01,044 --> 00:48:02,079 [sighs] 708 00:48:33,610 --> 00:48:35,646 So, what happened with Niles? 709 00:48:35,746 --> 00:48:38,615 Did he give you the answers you were looking for? 710 00:48:38,715 --> 00:48:41,818 Will you be leaving us soon? 711 00:48:43,887 --> 00:48:45,489 Ugh, now see here, you. 712 00:48:45,589 --> 00:48:47,090 You are a guest in our home. 713 00:48:47,157 --> 00:48:50,260 And though you did help save our bacon... 714 00:48:50,327 --> 00:48:53,997 [sighs] it doesn't give you the right to ignore my questions. 715 00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:56,934 We know each other. I am certain of it and... 716 00:48:59,603 --> 00:49:00,737 [sobs] 717 00:49:03,173 --> 00:49:05,008 Perhaps this isn't a good time. 718 00:49:08,745 --> 00:49:12,516 Oh. I just made some oatmeal cookies. 719 00:49:13,784 --> 00:49:14,985 Would you like one? 720 00:49:17,354 --> 00:49:18,622 That would be nice. 721 00:49:20,457 --> 00:49:21,458 Thank you. 722 00:49:27,764 --> 00:49:28,799 [sighs] 723 00:49:40,610 --> 00:49:41,645 [gasps] 724 00:50:27,991 --> 00:50:30,327 [zombie] Brains!